Bipolar.

Like my last post, here is another bipolar one. It has news im sooo unbelievably happy about then there is news which SUCKS!

Guess I will start with amazing news again.
Last night was a great freaking service! It was about sex. yes sex in church!
And Justin had people come up who wanted to make a commitment to purity from that moment on.
It was amazing to see the amount of teenagers who walked up to the alter. He gave us all some ring pops as the "physical" way of remembering our commitment. Tonight i want to go buy a kickbutt ring and everytime i think of the service i want to start singing if you like it then you shouldve put a ring on it. I really hope that people stick to this commitment!!!
SEXUAL REVOLUTION BABY!



Alright on the next note. We are postponing the trip to Africa. Heres the best way i can describe the feeling. My heart being ripped out of my chest then stomped on, then stabbed, then thrown back and forth between like 6 people, given to a hungry animal to like destory and then saying here you go allie put it back in there. I think it actually feels worse than that... its just the worst i could say. For anyone who really knows me they know that i spend most of my time in the office, talking about the kids, or the mission trip. I guess you could say that was my filler. Since i dont want to do all the bad stuff i used to i thought God placed this right in front of me to do because He knew my heart would go in it full force and i wouldnt even think twice about all my old junk. Which has worked. Now Im not saying im like gonna go back or ANYTHING like that. But it feels like i just lost a hugeee part of me. Ive talked to my kids twice and they know when i was supposed to come. Everyone is telling me its "ok" or to tell my kids something came up. If they have ever been to the office they know its not that easy. These kids say they are waiting for you and they mean literally. They will stare at the tree where they talked to their sponsor at. Phaustine has NO parents whatsoever and I am supposed to talk to them both monday. Its going to be the worst feeling in the world to tell them i cant see them.

I know Im going to have a really hard time dealing with this. i mean REALLLLLLY hard.
It sucks.

:/